xp_tarot: (Milkshake)
I have found a delightful technological toy. The San Francisco Museum of Modern Art will text you a image of a piece of art in their very large collection.

If you text to 57251 the words "send me" followed by a word, they will send you an artwork with that request.

So far I have received images of Michael Borreman's "Square of Despair", and Jennifer Sonderby's "Fastphoric: A Novel".

What will you ask for?

I have put art under this cut tag because the art is big and I do not remember how to make it small )
xp_tarot: (You know you love me)
You have all been given one. Yes, all of you, this year's theme is diversity and inclusion. For those of you who threw out the invitation because it was full of glitter, feathers and confetti, the party will be held in the East Ballroom, I have enlisted the resident technology experts to setup the projector screen and speakers.

I have acquired many sofas, and also a disco floor.

We will pause while Ms. Lincoln-Lopez or Mr. Quire object to the lack of x-gene diversity in their own unique fashion. (We will agree, it is tragic. Then we will open bets on which performers, like our own Ms. Blaire, are closeted mutants.)

Dress is informal, but please do attempt to Eurovision it up. A betting pool has been established on which country comes the closest in costume to matching Clarice's outfit for this year.

However, the party is a tradition. Once again, I have enlisted caterers rather than subject you to my limited kitchen repertoire.

For those of you who are not yet 21 and care about the legalities of such, there will be an assortment of drinks. For those of you who are already 21, or who do not care about the American laws and believe they can avoid being caught by those guests who do...

xp_tarot: (amused)
There are coloured eggs scattered throughout the mansion and grounds. I am not entirely responsible. None of the chocolates are cheap or american. Enjoy.

Mimosas on the patio for those of us who are legal to enjoy mimosas. Breakfast as well, I am most certainly not responsible for that, as it is excellent.
xp_tarot: (Why does God hate me?)
We have a subscription to I do not know which cable network but the one that is showing this show, American Gods, yes? I need to hate watch it.

Perhaps not hate watch it, but just watch to hate part of it.

Large image under cut )
xp_tarot: (Concerned)
Is all of the pumpkins everywhere related to David S. Pumpkins because I still do not understand either of those. Why is it pumpkins everywhere and what is a David Pumpkins? Why is there a pumpkin in a little pumpkin suit and two skeleton pumpkins in the elevator this morning?
xp_tarot: (Bitchy with Tea)
1. It helps me mimic socially acceptable behaviours
2. Jail is a real place I want to avoid. I look terrible in orange jumpsuits.
3. It is difficult to work with my eyes closed.
4. My desk is not a comfortable warm bed.
5. Neither is the train, nor the subway.
xp_tarot: (Default)
Or perhaps just some of us. I would never wear black turtlenecks, for example.

http://the-toast.net/2015/06/18/im-getting-really-tired-of-my-mysterious-flaky-friend/

The cracks in our relationship started when she went overseas for an art history program. She got completely furious at me when I threw out a postcard she sent me from Paris. I didn’t understand; what’s the big deal about an upside-down stamp, anyway?

Exhaustion

Feb. 23rd, 2015 08:46 pm
xp_tarot: (done with this shit)
This is the ninth night without sleep, or without chemically assisted sleep, and the sixth night where chemically assisted sleep also came with nightmares and sleepwalking and inadvertent sleep powers use.

I apologize to anyone who was assaulted by the pokemon sheeps. Those were a deliberate attempt to try to mitigate insomnia. I also apologize to anyone who was bothered by the zombie merman, the herd of scaly toothy things, the flaming skeletons or the conjoined twins (who by the account I was given dissolved after one ate the other's head? I am sorry, whoever left the voicemail, it was garbled). At least all those were only a foot or so tall, from what I have heard.

I also apologize for the raiding of the fridge, it seems Ambien has the most irritating and amusing side effects.

I do not apologize to whomever I stole that cheesecake slice from, it was delicious. I will replace it.

However, for now, my powers incidents are rather out of control and obviously affecting more than me. I am going to travel to New Orleans to seek out an expert in my particular style of precognition, in the hopes that more control over that will prevent the other power from leaking out.

I am not sure how long I will be gone, but if I cannot find my expert within a few weeks, I will return - and should my trip take more than two weeks, expert found or not, I will call and update.
xp_tarot: (Default)
You are all on notice (but especially Doug Ramsey) for not telling me this thing existed. Why did you not tell me it existed? They have it inside the ride at the Disney park and I need it.

000005p
xp_tarot: (At the pool)
Dear Ms. Lorna Dane,

On this day, the event of Mister Wade Wilson'd birthday celebration, I regret to inform you that I will not be permitting him to propose marriage to you.

It is because he is old and wizened and elderly, and also he first proposed to the truck, and then the truck driver, and bigamy is illegal. He also proposed to the mariachistas, who were very kind in telling him that they all had partners already. I think Wade may be invited to one of their weddings now, I am not certain.

He has also proposed marriage to his tacos, the horchata drink, and a choco taco but I do not think the last one is authentic Mexican cuisine, so I am also invalidating that proposal.

With much gratitude for the amusements of the day,
Ms. Marie-Ange Colbert

PS. I do not know if mariachistas is the right word for lady mariachi bands. Help? Who would know this?
PPS. Ms. Catseye, I have also given your information to the lady mariachis who are getting married because they wanted a caterer for their wedding.
PPPS. I know who would know the right word, I am being funny.
PPPPS. It is not funny if I have to explain the joke, is it?
PPPPPS. This is a great many post-post-post-etc scripts. I do not think this is proper letter etiquette.
PPPPPPS. That was also a joke.
xp_tarot: (Ethereal)
Biscuit biscuit biscuit JUICE biscuit peanut biscuit biscuit pretzel BISCUIT JUICE
xp_tarot: (Clubbing)








Eurovision Finals are this Saturday and once again my cousin will be hosting a party to view the semi-finals and finals. Since he is much too busy to post a general invitation, because his boyfriendboss has him compiling statistics on addiction in homeless mutant youth, I am posting for him.

I actually have no idea what he is compiling statistics in, I only have a series of text messages regarding normal distribution that are unsuitable for printing on a journal system read by underage teenagers, so I made up a topic.

The party is semi catered, but if any of you like, please feel free to bring a selection of your finest finger foods and non-alcoholic beverages.

However, for those of you of age:

xp_tarot: (I pinch)


I do not care how many times you have Weasel or Doug send me this*, no, you cannot have taco yogurt.

* disclaimer: neither has, that I know of, nor has Wade asked, I am taking sensible precautions.

On music

Feb. 25th, 2014 08:56 am
xp_tarot: (Confidant - Formal)
Yes, hello I would like to order a dozen of these delivered to my room please?





It is cellos, it is a cover of AC/DC, you should all listen to this, or I will set minions upon you.
xp_tarot: (What-ever.)
Here is a philosophical dining question. When you are on an erratic schedule because your job requires you to have been in an airport at odd hours, and furthermore your mutant power inhibits your ability to sleep, by what standard do you define your meals?

Is the meal I have just eaten brunch, because it is before noon but after 10 am? Is it breakfast because it is technically the first meal I have eaten since midnight? Is it dinner because I had a bowl of pho? Does the fact that I also have tea that one might normally drink for breakfast change that?

(in addition why does this keyboard not allow me to put the proper accent mark over pho?)
xp_tarot: (I don't know any of them)
I am not certain if I should be exasperated or laugh that someone printed this and taped it to my office door overnight.

I am also not certain who did the printing.

Is it possible to be exasperated -and- laugh? This is some fairly clever pop art, although I am not sure why "burger" is abbreviated to "burg".

xp_tarot: (Headache)
I am all too familiar with deja vu. But what is it called when you think you have done something, clearly remember doing something, but then it is clear you have not done that thing - and then later you cannot remember what it was you were supposed to have done in the first place?

I was so certain that I had something very interesting to post about, and that I had posted about it, and now I find that I cannot remember what it was I was going to make a informative and interesting post about.

(No, Wade, it was not tacos. Nor was it food of any sort.)

Unless it was, in which case it was the blog of the food stylist for Hannibal, which is here: http://janicepoonart.blogspot.com/
xp_tarot: (Bitchy with Tea)
http://promotions-marketing.info/2013/05/04/the-hlssen-lyon-tea-calendar/

That is a calendar made of tea. It is made of tea. I want one, but they only sent it to select businesses.

Really I want two because I want one for myself and one to give to Amanda. No, three. One for Amanda's British minion with the yellow rock name. Maybe a fourth for Wanda...

really I want a dozen of them to give as gifts, and one for me.

Why can I not have this thing? It is a tea calendar. I need it.
xp_tarot: (More milkshake!)
Pancakes are the only thing I cook well, and it is Mardi Gras, and since I am in New York, not New Orleans, and so cannot acquire an immense collection of beads, I am going to celebrate with breakfast for breakfast, lunch and dinner.

Pancakes at my place, I promise not to set Amanda's kitchen on fire, and if you are all very nice and bring me things I will even make flavoured ones, or pancakes shaped like the letters in your names.
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