Jun. 11th, 2003

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Everyone is talking about college and the AP tests (I went to the google and looked that up.) and their future.

I have no idea what I want to do. Everyone else seems so ... focused. Ev wants to be a lawyer, Kitty wants to work with computers or science, Piotr can draw, Jamie is good at doing a dozen things at once, Jono plays the guitar..

I do not know what I want to do. And I do not know what I am any good at.

And all the things I want to try to do are not going to happen. I wanted to try to use the television and movies to help people see that mutants aren't any different from anyone else, but people say it won't work.
And I don't want to fight people, but I am told that I have to defend myself...
and I just want to try to make our lives better, and safer, without being the person who is punching people.

...

But that is not going to happen. Or so I am told.

...

So I do not know what to do. I do not know what college to try to go to, I do not know what job I want, I do not even know if I want to stay in America or go back to France when I am graduated here.

I do not like not knowing. I want to know! I should know.

I have a lot on my mind. Sorry if am a little anti-social lately.

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Marie-Ange Colbert

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