FINE.

Sep. 6th, 2004 07:33 pm
xp_tarot: (disgusted)
[personal profile] xp_tarot
I cannot help anyone, I cannot fix anything, and when I try, people stop me.

I am tired of this.

When I do not try to understand what I see, people get hurt. When I -do-, I get my cards and notebook taken away "for my own good" and by my own BOYFRIEND.

When I am nice and polite, I cannot be honest, and I get accused of talking behind people's backs. When I am honest, I am obviously wrong, and too hard on people.

I am tired of this. I am tired of having to be what everyone else wants me to be. I am tired of being too harsh for people are who nice and happy and too happy for the people who are miserable. I am sick and tired of trying to pretend like I do not hurt, that I am not tired and full of stress.

I cannot help anyone, the people who are supposed to help me do not care enough, and I have to keep helping them instead. I still have headaches, I still do not understand what I see. My mentor breaks his brain twice a month, my boyfriend cannot be bothered to wake up in time on his own for classes, and it is not like we have -done- anything in over a month.

My so-called friends barely speak to me, too busy with all their own problems.

You can all go to hell.

Re: Tantrums are theraputic...

Date: 2004-09-07 06:16 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] x-tarot.livejournal.com
Clubbing would be good, actually, now that I think on it further.

I could use a night out - but I think .. you are grounded for a month, yes? That is not -that- long...

It's long enough.

Date: 2004-09-07 06:23 am (UTC)
xp_daytripper: (Default)
From: [personal profile] xp_daytripper
Until October 1st. But seeing how insane this place can be and has been, I'm not sure people can last that long. ;) I'm fine with arranging something, provided you go and have an wicked time and tell me all the details later. *grins* I fucked up, so I deserve the punishment as well. Tho' if Marko doesn't get off my back, I'm shoving spackle where the sun don't shine.

Re: It's long enough.

Date: 2004-09-07 06:26 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] x-tarot.livejournal.com
Do -not- try to make fun designs in the spackle. Mr. Marko is not amused by that.

If you are okay with arranging the details, I can go and be wicked and tell you about it. I am not the only one who needs to get out, now that I think on it. Someone is going to turn -into- a computer if he spends any more time on it.

The least I can do

Date: 2004-09-07 06:28 am (UTC)
xp_daytripper: (Trouble)
From: [personal profile] xp_daytripper
I've been a bitch to live with lately, not just to you, but everyone. And doing something good I don't benefit from is good for my karma. I'll have to give Pete or Shinobi a shout and see if they're up for driving.

Re: The least I can do

Date: 2004-09-07 06:46 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] x-tarot.livejournal.com
You know, clubbing would be a lot easier to plan if we had cars for student use that were -not- just for going to university campus and could drive ourselves.

This bears thinking on.

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xp_tarot: (Default)
Marie-Ange Colbert

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