I cannot help anyone, I cannot fix anything, and when I try, people stop me.
I am tired of this.
When I do not try to understand what I see, people get hurt. When I -do-, I get my cards and notebook taken away "for my own good" and by my own BOYFRIEND.
When I am nice and polite, I cannot be honest, and I get accused of talking behind people's backs. When I am honest, I am obviously wrong, and too hard on people.
I am tired of this. I am tired of having to be what everyone else wants me to be. I am tired of being too harsh for people are who nice and happy and too happy for the people who are miserable. I am sick and tired of trying to pretend like I do not hurt, that I am not tired and full of stress.
I cannot help anyone, the people who are supposed to help me do not care enough, and I have to keep helping them instead. I still have headaches, I still do not understand what I see. My mentor breaks his brain twice a month, my boyfriend cannot be bothered to wake up in time on his own for classes, and it is not like we have -done- anything in over a month.
My so-called friends barely speak to me, too busy with all their own problems.
You can all go to hell.
I am tired of this.
When I do not try to understand what I see, people get hurt. When I -do-, I get my cards and notebook taken away "for my own good" and by my own BOYFRIEND.
When I am nice and polite, I cannot be honest, and I get accused of talking behind people's backs. When I am honest, I am obviously wrong, and too hard on people.
I am tired of this. I am tired of having to be what everyone else wants me to be. I am tired of being too harsh for people are who nice and happy and too happy for the people who are miserable. I am sick and tired of trying to pretend like I do not hurt, that I am not tired and full of stress.
I cannot help anyone, the people who are supposed to help me do not care enough, and I have to keep helping them instead. I still have headaches, I still do not understand what I see. My mentor breaks his brain twice a month, my boyfriend cannot be bothered to wake up in time on his own for classes, and it is not like we have -done- anything in over a month.
My so-called friends barely speak to me, too busy with all their own problems.
You can all go to hell.
Re: Tantrums are theraputic...
Date: 2004-09-07 06:16 am (UTC)I could use a night out - but I think .. you are grounded for a month, yes? That is not -that- long...
It's long enough.
Date: 2004-09-07 06:23 am (UTC)Re: It's long enough.
Date: 2004-09-07 06:26 am (UTC)If you are okay with arranging the details, I can go and be wicked and tell you about it. I am not the only one who needs to get out, now that I think on it. Someone is going to turn -into- a computer if he spends any more time on it.
The least I can do
Date: 2004-09-07 06:28 am (UTC)Re: The least I can do
Date: 2004-09-07 06:46 am (UTC)This bears thinking on.