![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
xp_tarotI cannot help anyone, I cannot fix anything, and when I try, people stop me.
I am tired of this.
When I do not try to understand what I see, people get hurt. When I -do-, I get my cards and notebook taken away "for my own good" and by my own BOYFRIEND.
When I am nice and polite, I cannot be honest, and I get accused of talking behind people's backs. When I am honest, I am obviously wrong, and too hard on people.
I am tired of this. I am tired of having to be what everyone else wants me to be. I am tired of being too harsh for people are who nice and happy and too happy for the people who are miserable. I am sick and tired of trying to pretend like I do not hurt, that I am not tired and full of stress.
I cannot help anyone, the people who are supposed to help me do not care enough, and I have to keep helping them instead. I still have headaches, I still do not understand what I see. My mentor breaks his brain twice a month, my boyfriend cannot be bothered to wake up in time on his own for classes, and it is not like we have -done- anything in over a month.
My so-called friends barely speak to me, too busy with all their own problems.
You can all go to hell.
I am tired of this.
When I do not try to understand what I see, people get hurt. When I -do-, I get my cards and notebook taken away "for my own good" and by my own BOYFRIEND.
When I am nice and polite, I cannot be honest, and I get accused of talking behind people's backs. When I am honest, I am obviously wrong, and too hard on people.
I am tired of this. I am tired of having to be what everyone else wants me to be. I am tired of being too harsh for people are who nice and happy and too happy for the people who are miserable. I am sick and tired of trying to pretend like I do not hurt, that I am not tired and full of stress.
I cannot help anyone, the people who are supposed to help me do not care enough, and I have to keep helping them instead. I still have headaches, I still do not understand what I see. My mentor breaks his brain twice a month, my boyfriend cannot be bothered to wake up in time on his own for classes, and it is not like we have -done- anything in over a month.
My so-called friends barely speak to me, too busy with all their own problems.
You can all go to hell.
Re: Tantrums are theraputic...
Date: 2004-09-07 06:20 am (UTC)And your horse does need a name - I'm surprised we didn't come up with one the other day. He's being stubborn about letting us know what it is, I think.
Re: Tantrums are theraputic...
Date: 2004-09-07 06:22 am (UTC)Re: Tantrums are theraputic...
Date: 2004-09-07 06:25 am (UTC)Re: Tantrums are theraputic...
Date: 2004-09-07 06:43 am (UTC)Re: Tantrums are theraputic...
Date: 2004-09-07 07:52 am (UTC)I'm sorry I haven't been paying much attention. I probably should have slept in our room more often. I'm not sure I could suggest anything more helpful than your mother does anyway, though. ...On the other hand, at least I haven't mistaken Jamie for Jesus.
You want to try chocolate oatmeal? I'm fairly sure 'twould taste better than it sounds.
Re: Tantrums are theraputic...
Date: 2004-09-07 07:56 am (UTC)Maybe chocolate-chip oatmeal? I have had chocolate-chip oatmeal cookies. It cannot be -that- different.
Re: Tantrums are theraputic...
Date: 2004-09-07 08:46 am (UTC)